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I can't keep doing this...

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 21:23:50 +0100

I can't take it much more..
I've been feeling miserable for a while now. And I honestly don't know what cause it.
I can't shake off the feeling that I'm going to lose someone. Someone who means the world to me. He's my everything.
If only he'd prove to me that he actually cares. Maybe then I could start feeling and acting normal again.
Walking around pretending to be happy and hide that my life seem to be falling apart - it's taking up all my energy.
I just want - need - to know that I'm loved. And I need to know that everything is going to be okay.
But I don't want to tell him how I feel, because I'm scared of how he might react...
I'm scared that he'd leave me. Nothing frightens me more...

Hey, I have a website!

Sun, 15 Jul 2012 21:41:37 +0100

So, for a long time, I'd forgotten about this.
But after finishing my first year of the Media Graphics Design education, I have summer vacation, and possibly some time on my hands to do something about this.
Though, I should be buying myself a web-host, so I can start on my educational website with my portfolio.
That site will have to be HTML and CSS only! Which means I'll have to code the damn sh*t by myself..
But no need to worry.. No one said it had to be perfect.
Besides, I'm hoping to get more web classes next spring, so I'd be sure of what I'm actually doing.

Anyways, there's not much news atm.
I'll update again soon.

xox

New Moan – The Twishite Saga

Mon, 29 Nov 2010 20:28:45 +0100

I’m reading a book called ”New Moan”. It’s a really hilarious parody of the oh-so-loved Twilight saga.

As far as I know, there’s going to be 2 more following this.

Just by reading the description on the back, I knew I had to read the whole book.

Let me tell you what it says:

’I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I’ll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you’d let me.’

Heffa Lump is just a typical, pale and interesting seventeen-year-old. But then she moved to Spartula and meets Teddy Kelledy, an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong and never goes out in sunlight. Could he – just maybe – be a vampire? (Hint: Totally.)

A tale of first love, painful longing and even more painful pointy teeth. ”New Moan” is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer’s ”Twilight Saga”.

Already in chapter 1, preface, I was laughing hard. I’ve read the Twilight saga, and this parody is spot-on. It’s the most well-done parody I’ve read/seen to any book or movie.

The descriptions of the people in it, seem to be just as detailed as they are in Twilight.

I haven’t read much of the book yet, but I already love it, and I already have a favourite part.

The meeting between Heffa (Twilight: Bella) and Teddy (Twilight: Edward).

Chapter 2, page 30:

’… and the one that’s standing next to you, glaring at you with intense hatred, is Teddy.’

’Aargh!’ I spun round in my chair, and found myself staring into the most beautiful face I’d ever seen.

I tried to take in the details of this Teddy Kelledy’s face, drinking in his chiseled jaw, his perfect straight nose, and his beautifully bouffant, side-parted hair. He continued to glower at me with dreamy pitch-black eyes and unmistakable hostility. I was used to that, of course, but I hadn’t even spoken to him yet; it usually took a few days, at least.

An odd, gurgling noise came from the Kelledy boy’s throat, then his marble lips parted and he vomited his lunch all over me. I stood in utter shock, steak tartare dripping from my sweater, as Teddy Kelledy hissed through his strangely pointed teeth at me, his mouth a hideous grimace of pure malevolence. He turned on his heel and ran out of the cafeteria, his waist-length velvet cape billowing out begind him.

’A p-p-pleasure to meet you, too,’ I stammered, before the smell of half-digested meat made me faint.

An amazingly hilarious book, really worth reading.

Both as a Twilight fan, but also as a neutral reader.

(Note: Contains adult material. Not suitable for children.)

Diets - Good or bad?

Sun, 21 Nov 2010 23:00:00 +0100

So, I decided to start on a diet.
I've wanted to do it for a long time, but it seems like I haven't been ready for it yet.

I believe that you have to be ready - not just physically, but also mentally. Which is the reason I haven't done it yet.
I've seen myself as overweight for a 4 year period now, and it's about time I do something about it, instead of waiting for some weird miracle. A miracle that wont come, no matter how much I wish for it.

But the thing about diets is, that it's not just to start exercising and eat healthier. It's your entire lifestyle you have to change, which isn't something you do in one day.
I'm usually good at pushing myself across my limits, but I'm afraid that it's not possible with this. At least not as much as I want.
I believe that being on a diet needs a lot of support from the people around you. Support to let you know, that what you're doing is great, but also so you wont fall back into your old habits.

That support I'm hoping to get from my parents.
My mom has always said, that if I was happy about who I am, I shouldn't go ahead and change myself. But I'm not happy about it. Everytime I look in the mirror, I just want to cover myself up and start crying. I haven't been in a bikini or a bathing suit since I was 12 and I'm terrified of being around too many people. It feels as if they're all staring at me, saying that I definitely need to loose weight.

This is probably all just phychological. I have friends who's larger than me, but when I see myself next to them, I can't stop thinking that I'm much larger than them.
This shows that I have a weird look of myself, but I'm thinking that maybe that will change, when my actual size does change.

My goal is to go down 3 dress sizes. It's a lot of work, but I think I'm finally ready for it.
I need this to feel good about myself. Not just when I'm alone, but basically when I'm around others.

Wish me luck ♥
~~