I’m reading a book called ”New Moan”. It’s a really hilarious parody of the oh-so-loved Twilight saga.

As far as I know, there’s going to be 2 more following this.

Just by reading the description on the back, I knew I had to read the whole book.

Let me tell you what it says:

 

’I want to bite you, Heffa. I want to bite you very hard. I’ll be gentle, I promise. If you really loved me, you’d let me.’

Heffa Lump is just a typical, pale and interesting seventeen-year-old. But then she moved to Spartula and meets Teddy Kelledy, an impossibly gorgeous boy who eats rare meat, is super-strong and never goes out in sunlight. Could he – just maybe – be a vampire? (Hint: Totally.)

A tale of first love, painful longing and even more painful pointy teeth. ”New Moan” is a hilarious parody of the phenomenon that is Stephenie Meyer’s ”Twilight Saga”.

 

Already in chapter 1, preface, I was laughing hard. I’ve read the Twilight saga, and this parody is spot-on. It’s the most well-done parody I’ve read/seen to any book or movie.

The descriptions of the people in it, seem to be just as detailed as they are in Twilight.

I haven’t read much of the book yet, but I already love it, and I already have a favourite part.

The meeting between Heffa (Twilight: Bella) and Teddy (Twilight: Edward).

Chapter 2, page 30:

 

’… and the one that’s standing next to you, glaring at you with intense hatred, is Teddy.’

’Aargh!’ I spun round in my chair, and found myself staring into the most beautiful face I’d ever seen.

I tried to take in the details of this Teddy Kelledy’s face, drinking in his chiseled jaw, his perfect straight nose, and his beautifully bouffant, side-parted hair. He continued to glower at me with dreamy pitch-black eyes and unmistakable hostility. I was used to that, of course, but I hadn’t even spoken to him yet; it usually took a few days, at least.

An odd, gurgling noise came from the Kelledy boy’s throat, then his marble lips parted and he vomited his lunch all over me. I stood in utter shock, steak tartare dripping from my sweater, as Teddy Kelledy hissed through his strangely pointed teeth at me, his mouth a hideous grimace of pure malevolence. He turned on his heel and ran out of the cafeteria, his waist-length velvet cape billowing out begind him.

’A p-p-pleasure to meet you, too,’ I stammered, before the smell of half-digested meat made me faint.

 

An amazingly hilarious book, really worth reading.

Both as a Twilight fan, but also as a neutral reader.

 

(Note: Contains adult material. Not suitable for children.)