So, I decided to start on a diet.
I've wanted to do it for a long time, but it seems like I haven't been ready for it yet.

I believe that you have to be ready - not just physically, but also mentally. Which is the reason I haven't done it yet.
I've seen myself as overweight for a 4 year period now, and it's about time I do something about it, instead of waiting for some weird miracle. A miracle that wont come, no matter how much I wish for it. 

But the thing about diets is, that it's not just to start exercising and eat healthier. It's your entire lifestyle you have to change, which isn't something you do in one day.
I'm usually good at pushing myself across my limits, but I'm afraid that it's not possible with this. At least not as much as I want.
I believe that being on a diet needs a lot of support from the people around you. Support to let you know, that what you're doing is great, but also so you wont fall back into your old habits.
 
That support I'm hoping to get from my parents.
My mom has always said, that if I was happy about who I am, I shouldn't go ahead and change myself. But I'm not happy about it. Everytime I look in the mirror, I just want to cover myself up and start crying. I haven't been in a bikini or a bathing suit since I was 12 and I'm terrified of being around too many people. It feels as if they're all staring at me, saying that I definitely need to loose weight.
 
This is probably all just phychological. I have friends who's larger than me, but when I see myself next to them, I can't stop thinking that I'm much larger than them. 
This shows that I have a weird look of myself, but I'm thinking that maybe that will change, when my actual size does change.

My goal is to go down 3 dress sizes. It's a lot of work, but I think I'm finally ready for it.
I need this to feel good about myself. Not just when I'm alone, but basically when I'm around others.


Wish me luck ♥
~~